Have you ever watched a hungry dog salivate at the sound of a refrigerator door open or seen how a cat comes running at the sound of the can opener? I admit it; beads of sweat will break out on my forehead at the mere sight of a hot sauce, before it even reaches my mouth. This is the concept of conditioned response. Ivan Petrovich Pavlov was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1904 for proving he could make a hungry dog drool at the sound of a bell. The bell rang, the dog got food. Eventually the bell could ring and the dog would salivate at the sound, anticipating the food which may or may not have appeared. Pavlov formulated the laws of the conditioned response which he then analogized to people.
Later in years, using the tape recorder as a tool, many trainers used this same psyche training to instill repetition techniques in their programs. The theory was in order to program into your mind good habits or reprogram out the bad habits, you need to control your thoughts. If you begin each morning with affirmations the internal change begins to happen. It is powerful. You can change your attitude, your beliefs, your priorities and your subconscious daily choices by changing your daily thoughts and rituals.
The concept will work if you first make the conscious decision that you WILL make time for what is important. Yesterday in our leadership meeting someone shared this “I know I must do such and such but then I get caught up in the got- a- minutes and questions and what I needed to do for ME gets sidelined.” How true is that for all of us? We aren’t robots and we aren’t machines, thank goodness…but we do behave as such when it comes to many of our daily rituals. How many of you have a morning ritual of getting up, having a cup of tea or coffee, maybe you eat breakfast or not, brush your teeth, grab a shower, put on deodorant, comb your hair, etc… How many of you would think of leaving for work and not brushing your teeth because right in the middle of your ritual the phone rang and got you off track. You might grab your toothbrush and paste and do it in the car, but you wouldn’t skip it altogether. Why not? Because you have become conditioned that bad breath and dirty teeth are not attractive or desirable. I don’t know that you’ve won a seller over because you had fresh breath and a sparkling smile but I can tell you I have moved on to another salesperson because the one I was talking to had last nights dinner still attached and I couldn’t stand looking at it.
I believe that your inner success is just waiting to show itself but you need to ask it come out and shine. First I don’t believe anyone dumps the 5-9 steady pay check with no ownership interest and says I want to do this so I can fail at being my own business owner. No, you most likely entered because someone whose opinion you valued said “Barbara, you like people so you would make a good real estate agent or you had an experience of you own with the agent from hell and said to yourself, if they can make a living as bad as they are, then I will make a killing. No one told you that being an agent entails being a prospector, marketing director, financier, accountant and juggler of family, life and business. Once we are financially and emotionally invested, we learn the inside truth. We stink at some of these things and we have never learned to write business plans, follow daily schedules or be held accountable to our actions and results. The problem is for a lot of us, our beginning began with our past. In other words, by the time we have reached adulthood and a chosen career, our life experiences all come together and either give us confidence to reach out on the very end of the highest limb on the tree in order to grab the sweetest fruit or it becomes the little voice in the 5 inches between our ears that nag, nag, nag and drain us of our enthusiasm. Every day of our life we are building up or tearing down our inner success. We are always practicing behaviors, good or bad. I do have good news in all this. Today is the first day of the rest of our life. Creating a daily life ritual can become a conditioning experience for us. We can achieve our goals and aspirations, our desire can become our reality, we can turn our thoughts into actions and our renewed beliefs can allow us to become exceptional. Never let any one tell you that if you want something bad enough, the things holding you back are not fixable.
So what is the ritual you should have cast in stone (besides grooming, eating and getting to work) I guess that depends on what your big picture for your life and what your business looks like. Have you taken the time to make your life plan, your 5 year plan, your annual plan, your quarterly plan and or even a daily plan to achieve your big picture? 47 years ago when I said my marriage vows it was for me, making a commitment to a life plan. I vowed until death do us part to love, cherish and honor. Big commitment to grasp when you are 17 years old. It wasn’t long before I realized that it would be the day to day activities that get us through and there was going to be a lot of work, tears and joy along the way.
When you signed on to make real estate your career, were you considering it to be part of your life plan, a 5 year plan, a year plan, etc. or did you just happen into it willy-nilly without giving it much thought? If you see the value, write down 10 things that you would be willing to put in concrete as part of your ritual, beginning tomorrow. If you want it to take it to the next level of accountability, share it with a mentor, significant other, peer or your coach. I liked what one of our branch managers said yesterday “there are lots of better managers than I but there are not better leaders.” I liked that. We all can manage transactions but to elevate to a level of becoming exceptional must speak the language of our people. I wouldn’t ask of you what I would not be willing to do myself. My ‘must’ list revolves around a desire to be a better leader and you have my permission to come chat and tell me when I am off track.
- I must go the extra mile and I will not be willing to settle for average.”
- I must give those I lead, more than they asked for.
- I must lead by example: Exhibit fair ethics, good morals and strong values.
- I must develop my skills to a higher level of excellence.
- I must be willing to help others, unconditionally.
- I must be a win-win person. One who fosters in others the belief they are part of a caring team and have the ability to reap the rewards they deserve.
- I must be the leader of good attitudes, set clear expectations, be tough when called for but be the first to say thank you when deserved.
- I cannot be stingy with my time.
- I must make others feel special because they are.
- I must articulate that the staff, the agents, my office partner David , our resource partners, management team and the company’s vision and leadership is why I love to come to work every day.
Finally, so what is the secret? If you still are looking for one come visit and we can talk some more. Oh and one more thing, I do believe that one is not completely dressed until they put on their smile for the day. If you lose your smile during the day, find it and put it back on as fast as possible. It’s hard to be mad, depressed or abrupt if you are smiling!
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